(My reply from aanother thread)
Â
Just had a horrible thought............Imagine if Microsoft ran Karting in Australia....
Everything would ALWAYS be balanced and within parity specs, providing that your kart has constant access to the internet. Of course, each time you drove it, you would find that all your settings had changed and your data logger is no longer working, as your engine will not talk with any non Microsoft Authorised equipment (extortionate licencing fee must be paid to download compatibility app).
Â
Lap times would go way up, as you would be carrying a whole heap of completely useless stuff that you cannot remove, as it's all linked together and boobytrapped.
Â
Every time you make a complete balls up of something, your Kart will upload a log file, so the rest of the world can laugh at you as well.
Â
Of course, you would also need to keep your security up to date, otherwise your kart might be hacked by some nerd with a laptop at the paddock turn.
Â
And finally, just when you get your head around the latest engine specs and have paid your money for all the additional pieces required to make things work properly, they release an 'all new' engine that is better and faster than anything before it, but is not downwards compatible, so you must junk all the stuff you've just spent big $$$ on and start over again.
Â
Â
Oh dear, just read my last paragraph.......maybe they ARE running the show.
I own 3 separate PC networks and a Mac!
Korey Crawford said:
You own a mac don't you?
If Microsoft ran kart racing in Australia our engines would get the red crankshaft of death.
If Microsoft ran kart racing in Australia we'd have to keep updating our karts.
we could download music to our laptops straight off the Bercy engine.
look at the positive side, it the kart was running like shit you could do a de frag of the engine and a virus scan of the chaise to quicken it up a bit :p
chris thomas said:
look at the positive side, it the kart was running like shit you could do a de frag of the engine and a virus scan of the chaise to quicken it up a bit :p
Nice try, the only problem would be that half way thru it would hang and refuse to do anything. After googling the fault for hours you resort calling support and get told to reformat / re-install the rear drive assembly. Off you go only to find that you have, since initial purchase, changed the steering column AND the floor tray so now Windows audit has decided that your license is no longer valid and you have to call support again but now it is Sunday and they are closed so you will have to wait until Monday and call during office hours.... Next week you pay the money and resolve the issue but now you find that during the upgrade the bolt pattern on the hubs has changed and you can no longer use your favourite KG gold wheels anymore and so it out for a whole new set of hubs which then change the track by so much that the pod mounting bars no longer fit and so it goes... Thank F@*ck that they don't run karting in Australia...
Alternatively you could drive the new Tux2011 (Hairy-aardvark) creation which arrives disassembled in a box with no operating instructions. The parts are pretty impressive though, hand crafted by thin white guys with no people skills working in the dark in the middle of the night in outer Albania. If you manage to get unough of the furry-teeth community to put aside the condescending looks for long enough to assist you, this chassis will go like stink and is license free as long as you publish in Kart-X anything you discover in the setup and assembly process. If you win a race in this kart all of the proceeds and your first born are to be donated to the memory of Richard Stallman...
If you win enough races then Oracle will buy the Albanians out and you won't be able to afford to buy any more of these karts so you will have to move on to the Russians who will sell you the components for another disassembled kart with all the bits in a completely different shape to the original...
Keep computers away from karting kiddies. Just say NO...
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don Ingram said:
chris thomas said:Â
look at the positive side, it the kart was running like shit you could do a de frag of the engine and a virus scan of the chaise to quicken it up a bit :p
Nice try, the only problem would be that half way thru it would hang and refuse to do anything. After googling the fault for hours you resort calling support and get told to reformat / re-install the rear drive assembly. Off you go only to find that you have, since initial purchase, changed the steering column AND the floor tray so now Windows audit has decided that your license is no longer valid and you have to call support again but now it is Sunday and they are closed so you will have to wait until Monday and call during office hours.... Next week you pay the money and resolve the issue but now you find that during the upgrade the bolt pattern on the hubs has changed and you can no longer use your favourite KG gold wheels anymore and so it out for a whole new set of hubs which then change the track by so much that the pod mounting bars no longer fit and so it goes... Thank F@*ck that they don't run karting in Australia...
Alternatively you could drive the new Tux2011 (Hairy-aardvark) creation which arrives disassembled in a box with no operating instructions. The parts are pretty impressive though, hand crafted by thin white guys with no people skills working in the dark in the middle of the night in outer Albania. If you manage to get unough of the furry-teeth community to put aside the condescending looks for long enough to assist you, this chassis will go like stink and is license free as long as you publish in Kart-X anything you discover in the setup and assembly process. If you win a race in this kart all of the proceeds and your first born are to be donated to the memory of Richard Stallman...
If you win enough races then Oracle will buy the Albanians out and you won't be able to afford to buy any more of these karts so you will have to move on to the Russians who will sell you the components for another disassembled kart with all the bits in a completely different shape to the original...
Â
Keep computers away from karting kiddies. Just say NO...
How is the wheel held on to a Microsoft Kart?
Â
Â
Â
With three .Nuts  ...
********STOP PRESS*********
Â
In an announcement earler today, Microsoft have just launched their new spark plugs, called MicroSpark v1.213.272.15.
Apparently these plugs are guaranteed to be 100% reliable and will never foul at low speed.
When pressed on the matter, a spokesperson confirmed that in order to meet the guarantee conditions, the Kart, Fuel, Trailer, Towing Vehicle and the competitors clothing and safety equipment would all need to be 100% genuine Microsoft Product. In addition to this, the ignition system of the engine would need to be upgraded to 4.1 specs.
Â
When it was pointed out that (a) the 4.1 ignition software was still a Beta version and only available to Microsoft accredited testers and (b) Microsoft Fuel was only available at Ultra Ultra Ultra Platinum Dealers (of which there is only one in each country), the spokesman advised that these matters would be sorted out in a later upgrade, expected to be released in approximately 12 months.
Â
According to the spokesman, forward demand for these plugs is already so great that existing orders are not expected to be filled until way after v2.1 is released.
If Microsoft ran Kart Racing in Australia ....you could get porn on your Alfano. The tuning lights would help find the decent stuff.
I hope it would work on my Mychron as well.....Craig Evans said:
If Microsoft ran Kart Racing in Australia ....you could get porn on your Alfano. The tuning lights would help find the decent stuff.
Comments12
(My reply from aanother thread)
Â
Just had a horrible thought............Imagine if Microsoft ran Karting in Australia....
Everything would ALWAYS be balanced and within parity specs, providing that your kart has constant access to the internet. Of course, each time you drove it, you would find that all your settings had changed and your data logger is no longer working, as your engine will not talk with any non Microsoft Authorised equipment (extortionate licencing fee must be paid to download compatibility app).
Â
Lap times would go way up, as you would be carrying a whole heap of completely useless stuff that you cannot remove, as it's all linked together and boobytrapped.
Â
Every time you make a complete balls up of something, your Kart will upload a log file, so the rest of the world can laugh at you as well.
Â
Of course, you would also need to keep your security up to date, otherwise your kart might be hacked by some nerd with a laptop at the paddock turn.
Â
And finally, just when you get your head around the latest engine specs and have paid your money for all the additional pieces required to make things work properly, they release an 'all new' engine that is better and faster than anything before it, but is not downwards compatible, so you must junk all the stuff you've just spent big $$$ on and start over again.
Â
Â
Oh dear, just read my last paragraph.......maybe they ARE running the show.
I own 3 separate PC networks and a Mac!
Korey Crawford said:
You own a mac don't you?
If Microsoft ran kart racing in Australia our engines would get the red crankshaft of death.
If Microsoft ran kart racing in Australia we'd have to keep updating our karts.
we could download music to our laptops straight off the Bercy engine.
look at the positive side, it the kart was running like shit you could do a de frag of the engine and a virus scan of the chaise to quicken it up a bit :p
chris thomas said:
look at the positive side, it the kart was running like shit you could do a de frag of the engine and a virus scan of the chaise to quicken it up a bit :p
Nice try, the only problem would be that half way thru it would hang and refuse to do anything. After googling the fault for hours you resort calling support and get told to reformat / re-install the rear drive assembly. Off you go only to find that you have, since initial purchase, changed the steering column AND the floor tray so now Windows audit has decided that your license is no longer valid and you have to call support again but now it is Sunday and they are closed so you will have to wait until Monday and call during office hours.... Next week you pay the money and resolve the issue but now you find that during the upgrade the bolt pattern on the hubs has changed and you can no longer use your favourite KG gold wheels anymore and so it out for a whole new set of hubs which then change the track by so much that the pod mounting bars no longer fit and so it goes... Thank F@*ck that they don't run karting in Australia...
Alternatively you could drive the new Tux2011 (Hairy-aardvark) creation which arrives disassembled in a box with no operating instructions. The parts are pretty impressive though, hand crafted by thin white guys with no people skills working in the dark in the middle of the night in outer Albania. If you manage to get unough of the furry-teeth community to put aside the condescending looks for long enough to assist you, this chassis will go like stink and is license free as long as you publish in Kart-X anything you discover in the setup and assembly process. If you win a race in this kart all of the proceeds and your first born are to be donated to the memory of Richard Stallman...
If you win enough races then Oracle will buy the Albanians out and you won't be able to afford to buy any more of these karts so you will have to move on to the Russians who will sell you the components for another disassembled kart with all the bits in a completely different shape to the original...
Keep computers away from karting kiddies. Just say NO...
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don Ingram said:
chris thomas said:Â
look at the positive side, it the kart was running like shit you could do a de frag of the engine and a virus scan of the chaise to quicken it up a bit :p
Nice try, the only problem would be that half way thru it would hang and refuse to do anything. After googling the fault for hours you resort calling support and get told to reformat / re-install the rear drive assembly. Off you go only to find that you have, since initial purchase, changed the steering column AND the floor tray so now Windows audit has decided that your license is no longer valid and you have to call support again but now it is Sunday and they are closed so you will have to wait until Monday and call during office hours.... Next week you pay the money and resolve the issue but now you find that during the upgrade the bolt pattern on the hubs has changed and you can no longer use your favourite KG gold wheels anymore and so it out for a whole new set of hubs which then change the track by so much that the pod mounting bars no longer fit and so it goes... Thank F@*ck that they don't run karting in Australia...
Alternatively you could drive the new Tux2011 (Hairy-aardvark) creation which arrives disassembled in a box with no operating instructions. The parts are pretty impressive though, hand crafted by thin white guys with no people skills working in the dark in the middle of the night in outer Albania. If you manage to get unough of the furry-teeth community to put aside the condescending looks for long enough to assist you, this chassis will go like stink and is license free as long as you publish in Kart-X anything you discover in the setup and assembly process. If you win a race in this kart all of the proceeds and your first born are to be donated to the memory of Richard Stallman...
If you win enough races then Oracle will buy the Albanians out and you won't be able to afford to buy any more of these karts so you will have to move on to the Russians who will sell you the components for another disassembled kart with all the bits in a completely different shape to the original...
Â
Keep computers away from karting kiddies. Just say NO...
How is the wheel held on to a Microsoft Kart?
Â
Â
Â
With three .Nuts  ...
********STOP PRESS*********
Â
In an announcement earler today, Microsoft have just launched their new spark plugs, called MicroSpark v1.213.272.15.
Apparently these plugs are guaranteed to be 100% reliable and will never foul at low speed.
When pressed on the matter, a spokesperson confirmed that in order to meet the guarantee conditions, the Kart, Fuel, Trailer, Towing Vehicle and the competitors clothing and safety equipment would all need to be 100% genuine Microsoft Product. In addition to this, the ignition system of the engine would need to be upgraded to 4.1 specs.
Â
When it was pointed out that (a) the 4.1 ignition software was still a Beta version and only available to Microsoft accredited testers and (b) Microsoft Fuel was only available at Ultra Ultra Ultra Platinum Dealers (of which there is only one in each country), the spokesman advised that these matters would be sorted out in a later upgrade, expected to be released in approximately 12 months.
Â
According to the spokesman, forward demand for these plugs is already so great that existing orders are not expected to be filled until way after v2.1 is released.
If Microsoft ran Kart Racing in Australia ....you could get porn on your Alfano. The tuning lights would help find the decent stuff.
I hope it would work on my Mychron as well.....Craig Evans said:
If Microsoft ran Kart Racing in Australia ....you could get porn on your Alfano. The tuning lights would help find the decent stuff.